How we met: ‘He moved into my spare room and ended up staying for five years’

When Matthew finished his teacher training in 2006, he was nervous and excited about starting a new job. “I’d moved from Birmingham back to Manchester and I was going to be teaching performing arts at a sixth form college in Salford,” he says.
Early in the first term, he found himself huddled over the photocopier, frantically printing out copies of Jim Cartwright’s play Road for his class. “You were meant to put in your photocopying requests a day early and I’d forgotten,” he says. “I was trying to print them as fast as I could, conscious that I was taking up time using the photocopier.”
That was when he spotted David, who was hovering nearby. “He had a diagonal fringe and was wearing a cardigan with black jeans and Converse trainers. He looked very cool and I was a bit wary. I assumed he was another staff member and thought he was getting impatient with me about the copier. He mentioned he liked the play, but then I went off to teach my class.”
Like Matthew, David had also recently joined the staff after graduating from university, where he had completed a degree in English. “I was a learning mentor, but I was interested in teaching. I’d spent the first few days of my job trying to work everything out and see who I might get on with,” he says. “When I saw that Matthew was printing copies of Road, I thought: oh, there’s someone like me.”
It wasn’t until David volunteered to help organise Matthew’s school production later in the term that they grew closer. “He turned up in mid-winter to one rehearsal with two massive coffees. I could have wept with gratitude,” says Matthew. “He really helped with getting the set finished and all the cast got to know him. Our friendship was formed through the stress.”
David was impressed by Matthew’s ability to put on an impressive production. “It was an esteemed performing arts college, but to see him create this play was so inspiring. I couldn’t fathom how he made it all happen in an inner-city Salford school.” They began meeting up outside work, going to the theatre or for dinner at each other’s houses. “There was only a a few years’ age difference between us, but I was living like a student,” says David. “Matthew had a sofa and proper furniture.”
Matthew says they also became close to each other’s families; David got on brilliantly with his partner. In 2010, when Matthew hit a rough patch with his mental health, his friend was there to support him. “My therapist had recommended trying something new, so I suggested we try an MTV-style dance class together,” says Matthew. “That was where I told him that I hadn’t been well.”
David says he thought the dance class would be fun, but he soon realised Matthew wanted to confide in him. “It was a gear change for us, because it went from a fun friendship to a friendship with someone you really trust.”
In 2013, David moved into the spare room in Matthew’s house while he was looking for a place of his own. “He ended up staying for five years!” says Matthew. “I remember him being a really fun flatmate. It was like being in our version of Friends. My partner was also living there and we were a tight unit.” By that time, Matthew was still teaching, but David had left the college to start a career in advertising.
Matthew says the pair have “never had a cross word” – although he has intervened when he thought David was dating people who were “unsuitable”: “I was very protective, but he’s now engaged and lives with a great partner.” He describes his friend as “ferociously capable – he’s so creative and organises everything with flair and imagination. He’s always the first at the party and the last to leave. So many people know the fun side of David, but he’s also kind and generous.”
Although David says he has always had lots of friends, Matthew has been an anchor, providing a sense of purpose and presence he had never had before they met. “When I was single and working my way through the gay wilderness, he was always there,” he says. “Our humour and the way we communicate with each other is completely in sync.”